Monday, January 17, 2011

Boom Boom

I have always been the kind who always fought for what I believed in. Time has witnessed me wrangling my way through difficult matters in order to make things go my way to not make my enterprise a wasteful one. And I dare say that on the outside, I might look as cool as a cucumber - not screaming or tearing my hair out but on the inside, its like AKLJSHDKLAJSHDLKAJSDH TOOT TOOT TOOT.  Some people think that things come easy for me but THEY DON'T.

Ok, I've sidetracked there a little bit. What I meant to say earlier was:

If I have lost the will to fight, does that mean that I've lost faith in the things I thought I believed in?

It is unnatural for me to simply ACCEPT things the way they are, either good or bad, without mulling over it again and again and again to the point where it physically hurts. Usually things HAVE to go my way, but I don't do this blatantly la, that's just not the way its done kids! FYI, I'm very subliminal. ;) But sometimes my subliminality is too sublime it sends off the wrong message -.- aiyak.

Alright, back to the thing i was talking about. If I'm fine with the things I'm not supposed to like, does that mean its not a big part of my life anymore? Does that mean that, I don't think about it 24/7? Does that mean that it does not affect me the way it used to? Does that mean that it does not touch me the way it used to? Does that mean that I don't simply care?

Does it? Does it? Does it?

P.S LOL I actually wrote THIS:

Now the word does starting to look like the word does. Like two doe birds = does. 

before stopping and LMAO after remembering that a doe is a female deer. Doe a deer a female deer, ray a drop of golden sun! Deer. Bird. Big difference. The bird is a dove silly face.

Okay, back to my issue. How la? If its the right thing to do, it sure is the hardest thing for me to do right now although my left ventricle is helping me a whole load right now by saying "JUST DO IT" but the rest of it is saying "But, but, but, are you sure???". Hrm.

So now, tell me how do I 'listen to my heart'? Its impossible. SIGH.

I'll let time decide.

Natalie Felix-Acknowledgement, Acceptance, & Alignment,

P.S. I've been eating alot and exercising zero = FATTY BOM BOM! :) Hate it! But secretly lovin' it! ;)

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