There are many things I need to say to you but I think you'd understand me best when I say that my essential nature simply renders me speechless. It simply aches me to not be home this time of the year. No more scaring you and daddy with my supposedly reckless driving. No more fat kids to punch and bully around and no more Eddie to follow me around in hopes of scoring kitty snacks and a good old scratch. All I have to fill the void right now is this space and our skype sessions - which we haven't been having a lot of. :(
For years I've grown, spending little time away from you (literally) and it just makes separation harder as the years go by and the thought of heading my own life without you to fall on really scares me.
As the years go by, your advices have changed, moulding itself to suit my current state of life though one thing stays the same: It is always because you love me. At times, it may seem like I disagree with some of them, but time has always proven that everything you say bear a significant amount of truth. Regret is the only thing I feel during the times my illogical pertinacity got the best of me.
The front I have always presented to you has always been one that is strong, independent and unbending. Its mostly for the girls and also the fact that you and daddy have always deemed me so. But the tears I shed at this very moment only goes to show that I am no far different from the average person and your expectations of me has only helped made me who I am today.
A quarter way in through my life expectancy, I am sad that the days we have are numbered. I regret the lack of appreciation and also all the time we've lost. I can't wait to be back for winter :)
Happy Birthday Mummy,
I love you :)