Humdum

I pray for the strength to be able, and I pray for the power to be stable. 

This is a prayer for my soul. 

I pray for God's hands to wipe away my tears, I pray to survive these few labored years. 

This is a prayer for my soul. 

Despite my wandering feet and wandering mind, You were always there to pull me behind.

I pray to be whole and free, I pray to stop running away from me. 

I pray for hope of a brighter day, but I can only hope things will go my way. 

Dear God, inch me forwards towards my goal, 

This is, a prayer for my soul.

14/12 : Russian language colloq

15/12 : Patho Physiology colloq

15/12 : Microbe colloq

17/12 : Pharmaco colloq

22/12 : MICROBE MCQ FINALS

23/12 : Patho Anatomy colloq

11/01 : MICROBE FINALS

12/01 : Take taxi to Domodedovo ariport and proceed to Etihad counter for check in

13/01 : Home sweet home :)

Withered and Grey

I have come to notice that the subject of getting older has been occupying my mind a lot more often than it used to. Maybe it has something to do with certain tribulations I've been forced through these past few weeks or maybe its just because I simply need other things to think about besides Pharmaco. -.-

"The youth is wasted on the young"

It is by nature that humans are never satisfied with what we already have. The 'old' frequently find ways to look, feel and be perceived as young while at the same time, the 'young' are always obsessed about wanting to be older. To say that youth waste their youth wouldn't be fair as youth is frivolous by nature and I don't see why it is improper for most to spend it in a manner befitting its nature.

For some, youth never truly leaves them.

Unfortunately, when adulthood finally comes knocking on the front door, it becomes apparent that it falls considerably short of our expectations in many ways. Confronted we are by the fact of reality: freedom and independence comes with a hefty price tag attached. Responsibilities become unsheltered and sheltering responsibilities from the innocent has become inevitable.

As it slowly begins to dawn on us that our existence here is a finite thing, we learn to truly slow down and appreciate all of the things that frivolous youth allowed us to take for granted. We learn to appreciate the simple joys, like sunrise, and milk before bed; we learn to laugh more; we learn to love deeper; we learn to forgive rather than fight.

If that is part of old age, I sure as heck would like to be with it! But I don't mind waiting another 40 years :)

Six Blocks

When angered, hold back. Stand up against the urge to say things for the sole purpose of causing hurt and inflicting pain. Because once spoken, words hang in the air forever. They never disappear and they can never be taken back.

If there were a way to gauge my remorse in the gallons of anguish that pummel me, it would fill up four ponds, five lakes and a sea.

Forgive me.

Distractions

She stood rooted to the ground. Thoughts came and her mind began to work like a machine in overdrive. So how did she get to this level? What really went wrong?

Now, as I think to myself and ponder event, what's to be said next? My thoughts are taking me elsewhere. I am pushing myself to the extremities, and I am accomplishing nothing. I think back to where men have begun, and yet, even they had set out to perform a task and left it undone. And so what's to be said next?


My thoughts are taking me elsewhere...


To a place where they are keeping me from my actions with its many captivations. Every single day I wish for them to go away, but it only seems like they're only too happy to have me around.


Goodbye now, for my thoughts are taking me elsewhere...

Its as if the Sun knew.

YOU KNOW!

The weekend flew by at such a confounding speed, it made me doubt that today is actually Monday.The second year schedule has been extremely forgiving, I momentarily forgot what it was like to be busy once again.

In truth, I quite fancy being busy. It makes me feel like I am in control over the things I do and I am not wasting my time doing things that benefits no one, especially myself. We are after all, living on borrowed time. Yesterday I was on my feet all day and yet I still managed to sneak in an hour of baking, that is the only thing I did for myself yesterday.

Funny thing happened. Actually, its not funny at all, if it had to be something, it was annoying. So as usual, I went to the kitchen to preheat the oven and went back to my room to make the batter. So when I was done with that, I went to the kitchen with the mix, ready to be baked. So I opened to oven door when I saw A BIG FAT CHICKEN LYING ON A BED OF ONIONS AND POTATOES JUST SITTING THERE, ROASTING! Urh hello? Where did YOU come from?! I preheated the oven so that YOU can stuff your chicken in it? 50 minutes later, I went back to the kitchen to check on the cake when the culprit walked out, carrying his perfectly browned chicken with a smug expression on his face. Sankkyouuuuuu very machhhhh. Haha, ohwell. I'm glad I perfectly and exquisitely preheated the oven for you which resulted in a beeeyooooooootiful, golden, juicy (how would i know? well, sure looked it) roasted chicken.

Totally unrelated. ANYWAYS... (I have the attention span of a kangaroo, I'm sorry).

---

The two shocking metro bombings this morning (read here), got everyone thinking I bet. To me, it intelligibly reassured the fact that death is dogging you and I abidingly every second of everyday. It only takes one "GO" from God and detach we shall, from our mortal parts. Life, is definitely not ours to claim ownership to and it is merely a resting place along the road to sweet eternity. So, spend it wisely and spend it well.

Enclosed is one of my favourite poems, found underneath the pillow of Imam Al-Ghazali, one of the greatest thinkers of all time, upon his death. Don't skip it, read it!

 

"Say to my friends, when they look upon me, dead
Weeping for me and mourning me in sorrow
Do not believe that this corpse you see is myself
In the name of God, I tell you, it is not I,
I am a spirit, and this is naught but flesh
It was my abode and my garment for a time.
I am a treasure, by a talisman kept hid,
Fashioned of dust, which served me as a shrine,
I am a pearl, which has left it's shell deserted,
I am a bird, and this body was my cage
Whence I have now floron forth and it is left as a token
Praise to God, who hath now set me free
And prepared for me my place in the highest of the heaven,
Until today I was dead, though alive in your midst.
Now I live in truth, with the grave - clothes discarded.
Today I hold converse with the saints above,
With no veil between, I see God face to face.
I look upon "Loh-i-Mahfuz" and there in I read
Whatever was and is and all that is to be.
Let my house fall in ruins, lay my cage in the ground,
Cast away the talisman, it is a token, no more
Lay aside my cloak, it was but my outer garment.
Place them all in the grave, let them be forgotten,
I have passed on my way and you are left behind
Your place of abode was no dwelling place for me.
Think not that death is death, nay, it is life,
A life that surpasses all we could dream of here,
While in this world, here we are granted sleep,
Death is but sleep, sleep that shall be prolonged
Be not frightened when death draweth night,
It is but the departure for this blessed home
Think of the mercy and love of your Lord,
Give thanks for His Grace and come without fear.
What I am now, even so shall you be
For I know that you are even as I am
The souls of all men come forth from God
The bodies of all are compounded alike
Good and evil, alike it was ours
I give you now a message of good cheer
May God's peace and joy for evermore be yours."

-Imam Al-Ghazali 

I'm elated that Spring is finally here but I can't wait to be done with April.

My mouth; it moves, and the words come out

My ears; they hear, and the words come in

My eyes; they see, and the people all around

My legs; they walk me, here and there

My arms; they move, to and fro

My heart; it beats, but it goes unheard.
And that, is it. 

What is it with this sudden feeling of apathy (pun unintended, swear) that has suddenly washed over me?

edit: on a second thought, nahhhhhhhhhh..... I'm fine ;)

Spring

 

How long must we wait, in this cruel winter fate
To see one flower bloom, to have sunlight in every room?

So we can have toast, what a spread to boast

Along with jam and tea, oh my how happy I will be. 

:)

Quick thought:  

Currently, all our final decisions are made in a state of mind that is not going to last.

Of Clicking Heels

Take me away gray wilting mind and let me again feel young and free

Take me away to that piece of paradise nestled next to the sea

No snow beneath my feet, no frosty flurry to bite my face

Take me away gray wilting mind, to another season and place

I no longer find bliss in the first snow or the hunter's moon on the rise

I covet for the kiss of the sun and the taste of tea on ice

Let me feel the heat of the sand and smell the green trees

Of all the places God created that is where I want to be

An empty beach with gentle waves licking the shore

Take me away and I won't ask for anything more.

Take me away gray wilting mind and let me again feel young and free.

Confused

I opened my eyes and waited as my pupils adjusted to the overwhelming brightness. An early morning. A fresh new day. My bed sat comfortably by the large window overlooking an acre of naked trees covered with a blanket of snow. I sat up and took a deep contented breath, satisfied with a good nights sleep devoid of nightmares and surreal fantasies.

The distant traffic sounds filtered through the trees - the buzz of the alarm muted. Winter's teasing wafts of mist sauntered among the trees - their serenity short as pedestrians cut through them in hurriedness. I pulled myself into a cuddle while a nippy breeze poked through my sweater. And then I saw them.

I held my breath as I gaped in disbelief.
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3 PM?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Oh dear :|