Sometimes moments appear where I wish I could remember what it was like being 2 years old. To feel again what it was like when following your own agenda was the only option. When saying 'no' was actually okay. And when I actually did the things I wanted to do. When did all of that go away?! When did studies, responsibilities and everything else replace 'me' on the top of my list of priorities?
Often on my lonesome journeys to class and lectures there is always this overwhelming cry of 'shut up, shut up. shut up. stop. stop' Many times I almost fell prey these thoughts but somehow I've managed to pull through again and again. It seems like this year, everyone is on edge and our nerves are raw on end. It just seems like there are a million and one things to do and just a whole lot of people to please. Everyday, we ride the waves one by one (sometimes two at a go!) whether we ready or not. Some of us make it, some trip, some just.. go under.
Sometimes I would like to tell HIM, the silent one, the one who watches over us, please Sir can you just stop this tumble-dryer and get me out so I can catch my breath and relax for just a moment? The sanctuary of life has become nothing more than a zoo for the most of us. These struggles do not end here but will still remain prominent in our lives regardless of everything. Life is definitely on fast-forward and luckily I still have the sanity to hold back, reach out and hit 'pause' simply because time is going by too fast. Thankful I am for still having some remote part of me to tell myself to put my feet up once in a while when most have forgotten what it feels like to just.. relax.
Today just happens to be one of those not-so-typical days where I am able to just drop everything related to medicine and just plop myself on the bed with my laptop on my belly without worry, for a multitude of reasons. The reasons might have been simply employed to justify my laziness and disinclination to any form of activity but I think I'm going to get off my back on this one. :)
This is to a night full of nonsense talk and I shall now retire to my 'purple island' to remind myself that life is not completely devoid of choices. :)
Oh, and also not forgetting cold spoons and tea bags to nurse my angry eye-bags.