Thursday, July 16, 2009

Man Rules

This came in the mail the other day.

The Man Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys’ side of the story.
( I must admit, it’s pretty good.) NO IT'S NOT!!
We always hear ” the Rules ”
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered “1 ”
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports It’s like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail. But sometimes, we can't help it :( It just comes out :(
1. Ask for what you want. Now, where's the fun in that??
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. We appreciate language.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. And yet, do you??

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
Don’t ask us. That's just mean >(
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. That's cheating.
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. Men and their 'altruistic' egos.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have noidea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that. But, it's disgusting!
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong.
We know you are lying, but i t is just not worth the hassle. Baby, if you ever do this to me, my fist will fly at you.
1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really .
1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
or golf.
1… You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.

So how?
Oh, boy. :|

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