I find that I am an unassertive people-pleaser, and I hate it. That's the one thing that is keeping me from expressing my feelings on this very blog for the fear that it might cause displeasure amongst people who actually do read it ( I suspect not very much). I do not want to find myself in awkward situations, having to defend what I say, what I feel and having to justify every notion no matter how minute it may seem. Hence, the lack of insightful entries (not like i had many to beign with).
The past week has been a mighty see-saw ride.
The weekend was one with fantastic food, good music and wonderful company :) After a week shying away from rice, I finally stashed my conscience in the bin and indulged in some awesome briyani which was HOT. But gooood. It was guiltless, the experience of succumbing to gluttony.
Also, it is very refreshing that after 7 months, conversation became the main agenda and that makes me happier more than getting new shoes! Besides that, we have resumed our shameful weekly addiction, One Tree Hill, season 6 albeit without Chad Michael Murray and er, Peyton Sawyer? dontjudgeme dontjudgeme dontjudgeme.
It started snowing like SNOW SNOW, not pondan snow(come on, you want to turun, TURUN la, dont shy shy ok?), about 2 days ago, or was it yesterday? There is something about the first snowfall that is just so.. so.... so... hmm.. dont exactly know how to describe it without sounding like Cinderella, but yeah, magical. Its as if I can hear the friggin sleighbells in my ear and unconsciously, my facial muscles contract, pulling the corners of my lips upwards towards my ears and I find myself grinning stupidly alone in the snow, oblivious to the babushkas cursing underneath their breaths at me for obstructing their paths.
Well, besides that, I have been terribly inert. I come home and I just feel like stoning, obviously ignoring the amount of work piled up before me, literally.
Actually, come to think of it, the past week has been pretty good, if and only if I opt to remain blind towards the more serious stuff, i.e WORK and the cruel inevitability of fate.
Its just like getting on the see-saw with a severely obese person - you stay up there for a tad bit longer and it is a tad bit harder to go back down.
I would like to believe that all this is not dependent on perfectly balanced hormones, agreeable environment or even the optimal alignment of the moon and stars but instead, I would like to presume that my position is the result of choice.